The drive to end my life was a persistent voice continuously whispering, “You have no value.”
A barrier to look for help early on was the cultural concern as a Latino man and the stigma associated with mental health and suicide specifically. In many Latino families, mental health is not commonly a topic of conversation at the kitchen table. It’s only now that I’ve shared my story with extended family.
Culturally, topics considered taboo like mental health (and suicide even more so) aren’t discussed — it’s left to be a private matter. The impact of staying quiet is profound as it adds to the isolation and feeling abnormal. Latino men are expected to not show emotion, as it’s perceived as a sign of weakness.
As noted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2018, “Suicide behaviors have grown among Hispanics in the last decade, especially for females and for youth” — 1 in 4 Latina and Hispanic girls and 1 in 4 Hispanic and Latino boys have considered suicide. The rates are even higher for Latino/a and Hispanic lesbian, gay or bisexual individuals.
After dozens of phone calls, I finally found a psychiatric doctor who eventually prescribed anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications. I saw a therapist regularly and expressed my feelings that were imbued with tortuous blackness; I created goals to level my mental health. Taking sedatives continued as a means to handle life’s slings and arrows. We all struggle. Many experience anxiety and depression, and that the percentage has jumped alarmingly during the COVID-19 pandemic.
I survived because I talked to someone who listened and cared, saw a therapist who helped me put challenges in perspective and the love of my wife and family. The dark thoughts are gone, the monster exorcised.
Read more at AZCentral.com.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.